Do people ever think you are unhappy when you aren't? for years my mom thought i was unhappy and probably still does. She thinks that to be happy you have to constantly be in someones company, laughing and talking.

This is our difference. I don't feel the need to be in the company of others, in fact i'm usually a lot happier on my own. I'm happy on Newgrounds, i'm happy sitting alone playing XBOX, i'm happy watching TV and being the only one awake at night.

Don't get me wrong i'd LOVE to have my friend by my side doing all that stuff. In fact i called her on my cell and we put eachother on speaker phone to play Devil May Cry 4 together. That was an incredibly happy moment for me. But i know one day i'll have to be alone for an indeterminate amount of time, and i take pride in the fact that when that time comes i won't be miserable and lonely. People who are dependant on me drive me crazy, i need people who don't constantly want me to hang out or go to their house. I like the people who are there when i need them, but won't call my house every damn day.

Well...here's a new pic. I've been doing a lot of ink drawings, so plenty more like this. Hope you like it.

I hate people who get embarassed over little stuff. "I dropped water on my pants! OH TEH NOES WATCH ME BLUSH!" it's kinda stupid. Just laugh at yourself and others have no reason to crack on you because their jokes aren't quite so offensive, and funny, if you laugh harder than everyone else.

Maybe it's just me but if you are the first to laugh the loudest and hardest, then people are less likely to make fun of you because you show you are not embarassed by your human mistakes. I tripped and did a big accidental show of flipping and falling over...and YES it was very embarrassing...but you know the most important thing about a memory is the feeling you recall from that memory, and i don't remember being THAT embarrassed. I remember being the first to laugh while i was on the floor, and the teachers were scared that i hurt myself...and then everyone in the entire room pointed and laugh.

All i could think to do...to brush off the fact that people were laughing...is laugh louder and harder than them. I wasn't fake laughing...i just pictured myself falling through another persons eyes...and even now i think its freaking hilarious! People are dogs..show fear and they'll attack :D so laugh at yourself a bit.

Sorry about the watermark...just a precaution.

I don't know about guys but girls spend FOREVER in the bathroom. it's like a fucking clubhouse. All these idiots do is stand in front of the mirror and brush their hair and talk their shit...then some moron screams

"OMGGG ITS SMELLS"

WHHHAT? it SMELLS? in the BATHROOM? how can this be? how can a place where people defecate possibly SMELL? I just don't fucking get these girls.

My friend always used to say "come with me to the bathroom"

but i always answered her with "why do you need help wiping yourself?"

WHY do i have to hear her pee? WHY does she want me to hear her pee? can't our conversation wait until after she's taking care of business? i feel very awkward talking to someone while they are farting and pissing.

I'm sorry i'm just not one of those girls that tell another girl to follow her to the bathroom...i get in, i get out. I don't discuss life issues while prissing and preening in the mirror! in fact...i avoid the mirror because i know i look like shit, and rubbing my face with water and using the shit soap won't help. But these girls don't use that stuff...NOPE they bring SALONS in their bags....soap, lotion, makeup, brushes...oh it goes on and on.

I have no time for that. There is more to life than standing in front of a mirror trying to look pretty while discussing nonsense with your pissing friend in the next stall. Lifes too short for stupid bullshit in the bathroom.

god damn i'm lazy. Too lazy to even write anything interesting...OK I'LL SQUEEZE A NUGGET OUT! ok! if you were given the chance to never sleep again would you take it? i was watching a Xfiles ep (love xfiles ^^) and soldiers were given drugs from the Govt to be the ultimate army that would never sleep. If i was in the soldiers places at first it would be GREAT. Always wired, always busy, never needing rest. But then....and they even said it in the show. After a few months it becomes bullshit, after 20 years! it's hell. So staying awake all the time is a NO for me. Too much of anything is never good.

I drew that BTW! is it just me or does she look like Tohru from Fruits Basket?

A pic i made for Williwowza while on msn. Lol sry but i'm going through a lazy phase. So ms paint for this time. I just made a couple of anime pics that still need perfecting...sooo i'll post...next week? maybe? probably? depends if i can pull myself out of my room and move ALL the way to the next room to scan? meh. Only my laziness has the answer. If ya'll beg an squeal like lil piggies i'll get it in thursday. SQUEALLLLLL PEEEGIES WEEEHOOO!

SNAP SNAP IN A CIRCLE!!

Meh.....

"It is a maxim in the schools, that Flatterys the food of fools." And who so likes such airy meat will son have nothing else to eat."
Aesop

I really love Aesop and his stories. His stories have a lot of truth to them. For example, only a REALLY vain person can allow themselves to be so easily manipulated. We all fall prey to manipulation now and then. But when the manipulation isn't even CLEVER, and damages you at the same time, that's how you know it's pathetic to fall for it.

I laugh when people try to manipulate me, whether they try to sweet talk me to appeal to my vanity, or to flash a smile because they think i'm appealed to theirs. The people in my school are really something...they smile sweetly at me and ask me to give them the answers to their homework.

I just give them blank stares and say "PLEASE...you aren't THAT cute..now if you want help i'll give it but i won't give you any answers."

I'm not about to give away my hard work just so i can please some douche. One girl actually tried to convince me to BUY her a sweater with MY money. No ONE can manipulate me to buy them clothing, especially a spoiled brat. I won't throw away everything just for a dick with "charm" and a supriority complex. I won't put up with a person like that for a second. I won't even let my own parents treat me with disrespect, so why should i let anyone else?

My mom tried manipulating me all the time she'd say "you must be planning to gain 300 pounds with the ice cream" I just ignore her and i keep eating, if i want ice cream let me eat it.

Telling me i'm fat won't do anything. I'll go on a diet when i'm damn good and ready, but trying to manipulate me in to thinking i'm fat and ugly is sad, and pointless. The moment a person can start controlling the way you think, you may as well give away your life all together.

MIZO THE CYBORG!

I drew with ink then inverted the colors!

But from what i see...it's a bit overrated. I mean there's a nice time of love and comfort...but people so often get sick of eachother. It's a bit sad. The funny thing about love is that you want so bad to be with another person...then when you have your time of love....you realize that person is fucking annoying...then comes the heartbreak...oh well. I'm just speculating based on what i've seen people do in their relationships.

Nothing is sadder than people in a relationship who don't want to admit it's over. They look at other people and feel attraction to others ALL the time...like it's no big deal. They can't admit it's over...they just drag out the relationship so much longer than it should be.

I probably won't know what their reasoning for doing crazy things in a relationship is till i'm actually able to go through it myself. I just hope i'm a bit more sensible. i probably won't be. Love makes us all unwilling idiots. You can't love someone without taking the risk of looking like a damn fool. Whether or not you have been changed for better or worse. Someones bound to stare.

Life isn't long enough for love and art.
W. Somerset Maugham

how long this took me? two friggin hours.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

This guy is so right it's scary. I guess this is why I can't get along with idealists....and optimists. only realists and cynics. It's because i have a dark view on the world. I don't think everything is BAD....i don't know..i guess i can't see happiness first. My first thought is always "how is this going to get screwed up" when something good sounding comes along...i think that way because normally it happens.

At times i like seeing things as they really are and not in the obstructed view of my own feelings, and other times i wish i didn't see what's actually there, i don't like seeing the REALITY because frankly reality is quite ugly.

Sometimes i want to ignore the truth, but i can't that's not me, i wanted to ignore the fact my friends father called me a N**** and keep going over to his house...but i'm not stupid...an idealist would keep going over assuming it'd be ok as long as the father isn't there...but i know better.

I'm way too bitter. I guess i must like it that way....if i'm not actually doing anything about it. Lol you wanna know something sick? whenever i smell roses the first thing i think of IS a funeral.

On a side note. My characters name is D-toX she's a cyborg/human assassin and oh so pretty. I wish i was a cyborg. Then i could blow up stuff.

Hiyoo! lol this is the first watercolor picture i have done that i actually TRIED at. I'm taking art classes at a art college! it's really fun...there's this kinda weird girl in my class...she kept staring at me...it was a bit annoying.

We had a nude model on the first day i was kinda suprised, but i like how nice my teacher is. He was so dissapointed when i accidently made a crap drawing. SHIT! now he has high expectations of me...i hate when people do that lmao. Ok so i just drew this, this morning....it took me about one episode of malcolm in the middle...so i'd say 22 mins. Let me know what you think.

His name is Steven Hawke he's a army pilot. Don't ask me why i name my drawings...the name just sounds so bad ass.