I'm really just PATHETIC. I mean...you would laugh at my pathetic..ness...if you knew. Here's how it is. I suck with guys i like. I know i talk about guys a lot..but that's because it's the biggest issue i HAVE. I can't FUNCTION around guys. Well..actually i can function around guys as a FRIEND...i'm a fucking cool ass friend...but once i know that guy wants to be more...i shut down. Not in a faggy shy way. I become self conscious and nervous.
I look calm but if you guys knew what went on in my head you'd laugh or run away. Here's a situation for example say a guy likes me and i KNOW he likes me because say someone told me that he said that to them i would start getting very nervous and conscious of everything i do around him...and say for example i want to hug him but i never have before...here's what would go on in my mind:
Me: god i really like him
Myself: I should hug him
Me: NO don't hug him what if he hates it...what if he really doesn't like me what if that person lied!?
Myself: he didn't change his mind!
Me: BUT WHAT IF HE DID? WHAT IF HE DOESNT LIKE ME AND I MAKE A ASS OUT OF MYSELF AND HE HATES ME FOR IT AFTER I DO??
Myself: HES BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU!
Me: YOU DONT KNOW THAT HE JUST SAID IM PRETTY YOU ARROGANT FUCK!
Myself: he KISSED your CHEEK....
Me: So? people do that...doesn't make me special...
Myself: LISTEN GODDAMNT IF YOU DONT HUG HIM BY THE TIME HE WALKS OVER HERE IM MENTALLY KICKING YOUR ASS! DO IT DO IT NOW NOW NOW!
Me: FUCK OK!!!
*quick hug commenses*
Myself: tsh...dumbass
Oh the psyche of sawke.
Crue
I've got to say it, you are one interesting person. CONFIDENCE WOMAN, CONFIDENCE! A part of you tells you that you might make a fool of yourself you quote Tom Cruise and tell that part of you to take a step back and literally fuck its own face. You're cute, you're smart, you're funny. You have nothing to be self concious about. Someone doesn't like you then they are just a douchebag loser. Now get out there and get a boyfriend!
Also, Merry Christmas. I'd pull an SNL and give you my dick in a box, but it only reaches to Ohio.
Sawke
Pull an SNL? sounds more like a erotic Van Gogh LMAO!
Actually you're right about the whole..."fuck the guys that dont like me thing"
heres the next phase of my mind conversation.
Me: omg he really doesn't like me...
Myself: yeh i can see that...no interest at all..
Me and myself: tsk..this sucks...god...
5....4.....3....2...
Me and Myself: WELL FUCK THAT ASSHOLE THEN HE WASNT THAT GOOD LOOKING ANYWAY! IM GETTING SOME GODDAMN ICECREAM!
LOL i'm not a crazy eater when i get rejected...it's just my way of saying "i'm not going to try and make myself look sexy by starving i'm getting some goddamn ice cream and rebeling" lol if that makes sense?